Loser Limelight

So where do I begin?? To be honest I do not remember a time that I wasn’t the biggest person in the room.  I started gaining weight when I turned 5 yrs. old. A combination of a thyroid that was slowing down, a mother who rewarded everything I did with something yummy- usually candy or ice-cream and my love of sitting in front of a tv had me getting bigger and bigger ever year. When I was 25 I hit my highest weight,  418lbs (the dark blue picture). I had been on WW since I was 20 and lost a few lbs. here and there but I could never “see” it- so after sometime I just gave up. At 27 I realized if I wanted to be able to actually LIVE a full life I would need to get myself under control.  At that point I had Gastric Bypass surgery- the full blow all they can do version.  It was a long recovery but I managed to lose just over 200 lbs.  I was down to my lowest I had been since high school (220lbs) when life threw some curveballs at me.  I was married by then- I had my first child but lost my second baby- he was born to early and there was nothing we could do.  I jumped right back into my old safe net- eating my pain away.   I ended up gaining back over 100 lbs. still nowhere near my highest but the highest I had been for a long time.  I got pregnant again and had a happy healthy baby and I decided I needed to get healthy for my kids.  I started WW for a second time and did ok, I was working the program I was making changes and I had lost 30 lbs.!  WooHoo go me!!  Then—Covid.. ah that lovey time where I stayed home all day and snacked and snacked – and gained and gained. By January 2021 I knew I needed to get under control- I was now up over 50lbs and couldn’t figure how to stop the gaining- it was then that a friend of mine suggested I try a few new WW zoom meetings- and she had been going to a meeting with some guy named Larry – he was a Boston lover, I had nothing to lose, my regular zoom meetings weren’t really helping- I was still home 24/7 so I logged on one Wednesday night- and my life changed forever. Larry was the first WW coach that looked like me—he understood what I was going through because he was going through it too. He struggled like I did- and he didn’t tell me what to do,  he guided me, he helped me reevaluate what I was doing and how I was doing it. He wasn’t my coach, he was my friend. So I reset my thinking, I started following the WW plan, I went to the gym, I drank water I did everything I should have EXCEPT lose weight.  For 3 years I struggled, lose a pound gain 2 pounds lost 10 gain 15. I talked to Larry, we tried to figure it out—I went to a weight loss specialist, we tried to figure it out. All they could come up with was my body wasn’t ready to let go of the weight—WELL I WAS – and then  Jan 2024 – when I was up to 334 lbs.—things finally just clicked- things finally started working. And Weight started coming off. It was around this time that Larry branched off from WW and I went along with him. He was my support for so many years, he saw the struggle and he lifted me up whenever he could. He didn’t give up on me—so I knew I couldn’t give up on me either—I am now a proud Loser—and a real loser  I am down 25lbs I am closing in on the 300 mark for the first time in many many years and instead of being afraid of it—I am embracing it—the scale doesn’t own me anymore—if I lose then woohoo if I don’t then I sit back and look to see if something happened that week that threw me off a bit. I have weight loss goals but they are goals I created for myself, ones I feel are realistic for me.   I enjoy my life but I enjoy within boundaries so I still have control.  My mindset has changed- I’m not trying to lose  weight, I’m trying to get healthy.   

So for those of you struggling. Don’t give up. Find what works and don’t punish yourself if you slip off the tracks. Life is a roller coaster- we have our ups and downs, but you will get there…. Time to enjoy the ride.